James' Diary
by authoramandamarie
Summary: I never thought I would ever find love. For five years I waited for the right one to come along, until I realized I had her all along.


I never thought that I would ever find love. For five years I waited for the right one to come along. Five years I searched, but somehow I never found her. It wasn't until I was separated from everyone I knew that I realised I had her all along.

I spent weeks upon weeks alone thinking about everything that had happened to me while I was at school. I was a "pureblood" by some standards, but after I befriended those I did, I became known as a "blood-traitor." I never could see what was so important about being "true to your blood." To me it was nothing more than politics. I was raised by parents who knew no prejudices...and in the end I'm sure that's what killed them.

I was eleven when I went off to school. My parents were so proud when I received my letter. Like I wasn't going to get picked? I had been making things happen all my life. I couldn't always explain them, they just happened. I was four...although I have no idea why I never knew before then...that I found out what my parents were. They were both so-called purebloods. And I was sure to go through the house of Gryffindor, just as they had. But did I really want it? I kept asking myself that question as I walked up to the stool below the sorting hat that night. "So, you have doubts do you? Not so sure you want to follow your parents, do you? Well, I could put you in Slytherin... Oh yes, I see it all. You have a mind like no other these last few decades. Oh yes, you will do great things." It uttered those fateful 'slytherin words' and I knew then that I would never set foot inside that house. I thought long and hard, repeatedly in my head...'Gryffindor, Gryffindor' "Well, if you're sure...better be GRYFFINDOR!!!" I could breathe now.

It was in the house of Gryffindor that I met my friends. Though it took almost two years for all of us to trust each other. First, there was young Sirius Black. Everyone was sure he'd be a slytherin. Oh yes, best friends with the dreadful Lucious Malfoy and Severus Snape. Oh, have you heard of them? Didn't know Sirius was their friend? Oh yes, they grew up with each other...the Blacks, Malfoys, and Snapes...all of them. They were destined to do great things, but Sirius was different. His true self was realised when the hat placed him in Gryffindor. Yes, the mighty Sirius Black, of THE Blacks, was a Gryffindor, and shamed by his whole family. He knew he'd never be allowed back in the house, or if he were, he'd never survive the summer. He was a hard one to befriend. "Betrayer, I am," he would always say. "Naw, just got a bit of common sense about you," I would always remark. This made him smile for some reason. He and I became friends the quickest, but it wasn't so easy with our roommate, a young Remus Lupin.

Mr. Lupin was very held back. Didn't seem to want to socialize with anyone, not even his own roommates. And there were the unusual once a month disappearances he took. He missed at least three days worth of classes each time, yet he was top of the class...at least of the boys. He was smart, yet very quiet. Some said he was a loner, but Sirius and I knew there was more to him than that. Which is why we decided to follow him one night. It was cold, and the full moon was shining brightly in the sky. We followed him as he ducked his way underneath the womping willow. How he ever made it through with out ever getting whomped to death was quite a surprise to Sirius and me. None the less, we made it through as well. Come to find out there was a secret tunnel through the roots of the womping willow, and it led into the most haunted house in the entire wizarding world...or so it was said. It was that night we found out he was a werewolf. We never did ask him how; he would tell us on his own time...for now, we were going to befriend him. Took almost a year for that one, but he finally opened up to us...and Sirius and I decided to become animagus.

Then there was young Peter Pettigrew. Short, plump boy who never seemed to let go...followed us around forever, until we finally let him in. I don't think we ever really intended to, it just sort of happened. But he was a nice enough boy. Odd, but still just trying to fit in. He became part of us after some time, although he still seemed a bit quiet and held back at times. None the less, the four of us clicked. We were mischievous, troublemakers, and pranksters; we were the Marauders. We soon found all of the secrets that our school held within its walls...well, I take that back. The one we never did find was the chamber of secrets. But I knew someday I would. But, with our knowledge of the secrets within these walls, we invented the Marauder's map. There would only be one, and it would only ever be in my possession. At least until Filch discovered what we were doing, and confiscated it. But what he didn't know was that I still had my invisibility cloak. So, the Marauder's lived on.

Peter was the quiet follower. Sirius was the girl magnet. If it hadn't been for him, I never would've had so many girls about me. Remus, he still stayed pretty quiet most of the time, not really opening up to anyone but us; only exception was the redhead named Lily Evans.

Lily was almost perfect. She was top of her class. Smart, in more ways than one. She had this way about her that made you smile. But whom was I kidding? She never found any interest in me. So, I made my way with the other girls of the school. I left her to Remus. Remus was the kind of guy she would accept, and she proved it more times than one. And it always stayed that way...I always had a place in my heart for Lily, but never pursued her. And after we all left Hogwarts and started our new lives, I missed her. I regretted the day I missed the chance of asking her out.

Exactly one year to the day went by when I finally made that trip back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore had asked to see me, and as he was a good friend and mentor, I went. But the owl hadn't been from him, it had been from Remus. He stood, leaning on a hand carved cane. It was only a couple days past the full moon, and he was tired. Yet, he stood with a wonderful smile on his face. The only words he ever spoke were "I'm tired of watching my two best friends kick themselves because they never confessed to one another how they felt about each other." It was then I saw her. Her red hair caressed the side of her face gently and her green eyes sparkled with embarrassment. She wanted to kill Remus as much as I did at that moment. But, we talked. We went out, and the rest was history. Lily Evans Potter was now lying by my side, a smile placed sweetly above her chin. A small bassinet was positioned next to her side of the bed. Our son, Harry, slept peacefully beside us.

It was a moment any man would dream about. I had a home, a good career, and money in the bank, quite a bit actually, a beautiful wife, and a perfect son. I had always taken life for granted. And now that i had everything, I didn't want to do that...I lived every moment with my wife and my son as if it were our last together...if I only knew what was to come in the very near future.... I would've done more to make sure it wasn't taken for granted....

A/N: This is my first attempt at a James/Lily story. What do you think? Please be honest!


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